A Man’s Place

Becoming a better person

Gaining your child’s trust

My daughter, Peyton, is now 3 1/2 weeks old. She is your typical infant: doesn’t sleep in her crib, eats all the time, and cries when you don’t hold her. Her mother and I have been lacking much sleep, but we have enjoyed every last moment of the past 3 1/2 weeks.

I believe from the time she was born, I was beginning to build her trust. She may not be able to remember anything from her first year or two as she gets older, but if I do not build her trust now, I do not feel I will have it in the future.
I believe that she already trusts us. Whenever she is lying in her crib, she begins to cry, but as soon as she sees us reaching for her, she stops crying. She knows that we sense what she wants, and will give it to her, no matter what time in the morning it is.

I have been reading a lot about whether or not you should let your child cry in his or her crib at night. I know that many of you have MUCH more experience at raising children than me, but I believe that you shouldn’t just leave your child to cry for long periods of time. I don’t think you can spoil your kids by holding them when they are crying. Allowing them to cry adds stress to you and your child. I know that when my child cries, it breaks my heart. By holding them, you are comforting them, telling them that you are there for them. I feel like if you let them cry, you are sending a signal that they are on their own.

Babies cry for a reason. They are usually either hungry, need changed, have gas, or are in general just fussy. From what I have learned, some babies cry at the same time every night, as a way to let off stress. I do believe that babies relieve their daily emotional stress this way. However, leaving them to cry alone for long periods of time is not the answer.

If you don’t have anything to do, hold your child while he or she cries. It is comforting for both you and your child, and is a great way to bond and build trust.

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March 24, 2008 - Posted by | Parenting

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